MERCH: Bad Merch from Good Movies
I love collecting movie merch. I don’t necessarily have to like the movie.As long as the product itself is unique- I don’t care if it’s from a lame movie, I’d buy it. But it’s quite disappointing when the movies I really, really love have extremely lame merch. Some are just tooooo lame that I can’t help but wonder what the hell they were thinking! Here are some of them:
Star Trek Urn
Even if I kinda like Star Trek and my life is pretty lame, I still wouldn’t allow my ashes to be plopped into this. Would you?
Jar jar Binks Lollipop
Never buy your kids (or anyone!) this disturbingly sexual Jar Jar Binks lollipop. Sicko.
Indy’s Luxurious Hat
Are you willing to waste $975 on this fedora? Adventurebilt encourages buyers to visit the studio for an hour “during which we can have a good conversation about your hat over a cup of coffee or a glass of whisky and a good cigar.” No thanks.
The Fight Club Uniform
Jacket looks nice but… seriously? $500? Is Brad Pitt included in the package?
The Passion of the Christ’s Official Nails
The makers of The Passion of the Christ merchandise write on their website, “Our mission is to reach the world with the message of hope … ” Apparently, this message of hope is best expressed by wearing sterling-silver necklaces shaped like the nails used to kill Jesus.
James Bond’s Eternal Flame
In 1962, Dr. No launched the James Bond franchise and this $36 candle is one of the items. I know right? How manly!
Alice in Wonderland’s Versace Shoes
These Alice in Wonderland-inspired Versace shoes cost $1,195. What??? They’d have to pay ME if they want me to wear these shoes.
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